Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Back From Erie With a Vengeance

Erie was interesting. the first night up was semi-magical as we all relaxed, ate amazing food and found out that my mom won $2000 on a free lottery ticket. I was so stoked, I couldn't get over it. She payed of my plane ticket to Mexico and fixed the car up. Because it's under 2500, she doesn't have to claim it on her taxes. SWEET.

Thursday, the Mt. Woo kids came up. My coleus plant was amazing and I dreamt of my buddhaland- prisms. Imagine that everything and being is a prism that by simply looking at you can understand all the facets of that thing's being. It was awe inspiring.

Friday, the weather became sunny but there was still a heavy breeze as compared to the grey we'd been having. We took a trip down on the beach and Andy started freaking out. I was suddenly reaching a new level of enlightenment and he was seriously going out of his skull. There was nothing anyone could really do but tell him to just sit it out. Jes was shot into a weird mindset along with the majority of the others. She then ended up twisting her ankle. (it's doing better now)

Saturday, everyone was pretty drained and wanted to go home early. Just of course, as Matt Wright and those kids came up. Emily and I had planned to spend the day in the canoe reading and having a peaceful day... but we ended up having a great time later at my house. We sat out on my porch with Lauren, Jes and Jon and then played Ouija. I SWEAR NO ONE WAS MOVING IT. We started talking to this little girl who died at age 5 because of illness. It was crazzzzy.

Missy and Katie are moving into the city at the beginning of the month. Soooo, I'm trying to get their job at the dry cleaner. I think they are strapped for help but don't necessarily want to hire me because I won't be around in the fall. But common!!!!! I need a job already. I don't want to work at Shop N Save. It's weird. I keep feeling like I'm ready to leave for somewhere when I know that Mexico is two months away. I need a job. I only have 70 more bucks in the old checking account and a life to live. Ugh. Babysitting tonight though.

Last night was Grails. They were so good. Bought some stuff at Red White & Blue on 51. Bought some records at the show.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Better Days

I'm in love with Graham Nash. Songs for Beginners is quite possibly my all-time favorite album. I just want to be surrounded by his voice and lyrics.

Wednesday proved to be a go business day. I blew 40 bucks on a whim, but I couldn't pass up that deal! I can't wait to take a trip at Erie. I hope I don't have to share.

The zombie party was good. no crazy zombie movie was made but it just hella bizarre to be sitting around with people that all looked like they were extremely fucked up. Bleeding from their eyes, nose, mouth... it made a regular saturday night into something special. I wish I would have been able to stay up though. I only drank two glasses of wine before I passed out.


Jon lost his wallet. Dear god. He had so much money in it. Here is the story:

Nate decided that he should have a zombie wrestling match with Megan. They rolled around a little before extremely drunk Jon decided he wanted to take on Nate. They locked up and soon Jon went somersaulting down the hill. Never losing the cigarette in his mouth. That's when we think his wallet must have fallen out of his back pocket. So, later that night after everyone had left and all the housemates were asleep, a bunch of drunk guys that work with Megan came over and were just chilling on their back patio. Megan hears them, wakes up, and tells them to leave. At some point they must have been fighting because there was blood found the next morning (not zombie blood). Now, if Jon's wallet had been just chilling outside, we figure they must have taken it. The people at the party are all of our friends and would have at least taken it inside/given it to one of the housemates. Those drunk fucks must have taken it because it was definitely not at the house the next day, it wasn't in Jon's car or anywhere else we could think of looking.

I babysat the Goldsmiths for the first time on friday for only like three and a half hours. They are crazy good. So well behaved that it's scary. I hope I can start watching them a little more often. I need the money. I still haven't found another job. I might have to go to Shop N Save. UUUGHHH. Rowan is having the same trouble in Seattle. No on is really hiring because of the economic problems and they especially aren't looking for seasonal help when they can hire someone full time year-round.

Saturday, June 14, 2008

Long Lost Poems

I found this little booklet that I was working on during senior year of these eight line, iambic tetrameter poems. They are pretty nice. Here-

1. Mother

and leaving from her womb her heart
the child's life once torn apart
chiding elders yet sewn as one
with shackles and her freedom done
the shallows of time's sequence loom
like dreams forgot and sharing rooms
so left with home and growing seeds
my mother cries for beggar's needs

2. Witchhunt

alone at night the sought recede
to mother earth for all they need
for nature fills the spindles spun
with downy wool that quickly runs
like falling ropes of martyrs hung
by bashful hands whose fears begun
the sacred search for nature's child
with gifts of pure, mistaken wild

3. Escape

collapsing in the stable bed
alive yet sleep my heavy head
condense my thoughts and form a dream
for life is dull and false. it seems
to love and wrack the mourning heart
makes a fool of those quick and smart
and ration truth empty words
so let me dream and be absurd

4. To Jason

controlled by season, light and moon
held on high yet forgotten soon
by feisty loves with troubled mind
who disappear and fade with time
but there you sit with heavy eyes
a jester's hat is your disguise
from noble thought some don't accept
a mother's love will not reject

5. Untitled

just leave me here to rot or die
young oysters to the walrus lie
so stupid in their shiny shell.
Naivety's veil soon had fell
on empty chest with weeping eye
for blindest youth our souls doth cry
when peace and love are pure no more
the wave has come and crashed on shore

6. Dominique

so clean and cold, embrace your sin
content when you committed them
the wilted flower cannot bloom
if you neglect and still assume
that love will grow with passing time
despite your deeds that are a crime.
retire to your lofty heights
with tarnished wings. you had no right.

7. G-d

creating justice, peace and faith
and living in his perfect grace
no mortal man could speak his word
so are these lies or truths we've heard?
a swallowed man, a floating arc,
the brightest star shone in the dark
I shut my eyes and close my mind
in these myths, faith, I cannot find.

8. Narey

she asked me how I thought it was
if i had planned to fix my flaws
I told her lies and forged ahead
I gave no weight to what she said
I knew she laughed to act sincere
she made it hard to function here
and create works that we desired
like her demise we so conspired

Monday, June 9, 2008

Draft a Letter

So, I have a little bit of money coming my way... the babysitting I thought was a no go is now a two-three times a week. I met the kids on Saturday morning and they are too cute and amazing. They immediately took to me. Carla, 8; Andre, 5; and Alexa, 3. I'll also be working maybe a day or two a week in the parents' dental office doing data entry, which, hell, in an air conditioned side room is fine by me! I'm still looking for another part time. Haven't heard from Starbucks yet though. AND my mom is paying me to clean the print shop. I worked today wiping down the front office. Omigod. It was so dirty. The spiders were all running away from the vacuum because I was completely destroying their homes. I didn't kill any bugs that I know of. I don't see the point. But anyway, I'm on a mission to work as much as possible. I don't care if that means I have four jobs that give me hours here and there, it'll be worth it when I put the money in the bank. and to think that unemployment went up .5% last month.

I talked to Scotty D last night for the first time in a long time. Wow. I am so proud of him. He got a grant to do research in Boston and is working a second job... but he's doing it. He's going to be some hot shot physicist/engineer. We haven't been nearly as close as we used to be since college, but I will always be invested in his life. I love him dearly. I wonder if I'm just really blowing it when I think of how dedicated he is. I don't know if my education is going to contribute in any way to what I'll end up doing. And if Latin America is my "thing" then why am I not working harder to speak spanish and find out opportunities to further myself in the discipline and see what I can do with it as a job? I think sometimes that I want to work in magazines like my mom, but I don't want an english degree necessarily or a business degree which are probably the degrees I would need to actually land a decent job in a publishing house, but aaaaaaaagh. Maybe I should bust my ASS and learn how to actually use my manual, have katie take me to the darkroom and show me around, and build up a kick ass photography portfolio and try and get a masters in photojournalism. Then, I would be a big asset to a company- not only am I good photographer, but I would be highly educated in Latin American issues and could go down on jobs. Wow... maybe that is a dream come true. Have I figured something out? Goal for next summer- internship at a magazine. Shoot for National Geographic. (who isn't?)

This weekend was fun and of course full of some bull shit. I don't even want to really get into it.


Tuesday, June 3, 2008

How Can This Not Be A Recession?

I've been working on translating Pablo Neruda poems. I just did "Tonight I Can Write The Saddest Lines" but I'm tailoring it so I can make it into the lyrics of a Birds and Bees song.

I bought a small electric organ at a flea market the other day for 15 dollars. It was a bitch and a half to get to the car and bring it home but it is so worth it. I also got a Kraft poster celebrating Disneyland's 25th year. There is all this pretty food and characters from Alice in Wonderland.

Babysitting fell through. I think Jim forgot that he'd been talking to me since January about it. I'm looking for another job... and it's not looking too good. I just can't find anywhere close and interesting. Man, babysitting was really my dream. Now, I have to consider wearing long sleeves everyday to work because of my tattoos and taking out my nose piercings and I was really looking at them yesterday and I like them! I like the way they look, I like the way they make my nose look. I don't want to take them out. UGH. this sucks. I guess I have to realize that I just will have to sell my soul to a job right now.

I bought some plants to take care of. Coleus. They have an erowid page because, I guess, they are a relative of salvia. I've been saving the leaves from pruning. We'll see.

I hung out with Steph, Jes's art twin from AIP, this weekend and it was awesome. I love all those people. I just am so much more comfortable around that crew. I feel like I'm always talking about something interesting and not just tits and dicks, poop and farts. Not to say I don't love my other friends, it's just different.