Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Elliot Smith = Omen?

amusing from my Lastfm


People seem to have a tough time reading this one. Chemical reactions are strangely enjoyable to me, I don't know why. Chemistry was always my favorite science. It exists on the appropriate scale for me. Biology is too large- observable by the naked eye. Physics? Well, sometimes you can't even observe it depending on how many dimensions and blah blah blah. Chemistry is right in the middle. Born of Biology and mother to Physics. All we are are swirling atoms and chemical reactions. Just like everything else.

^ really fantastic 3D digital painter. Check out his sushi and the image "Nape of a Woman's Neck"

Yesterday, Jake and I started laying some tracks for the EP. The first piece is sounding pretty sweet. It's got a nice bohemian groove to it. I have to do a lot of editing and such, but it will be nice to have at least one song finished by the end of the summer.

Babysitting last night, the littlest, Alexa, wanted to get up on my shoulders. I squatted down and she got onto my back. As I was standing up, she tumbled over my head to the kitchen floor. My heart was pounding and I got light headed. She hit her chin, nothing broken or bleeding. I felt so bad. She was definitely angry at me for the rest of the night.

After work, I went to Jon's and watched "Intensity" featuring John C McGinley as a psycho killer. All I could think of was Dr. Perry Cox. hahaha. The movie was the kind where it was so ridiculous that you had to see how it ended even though it was a two part made-for-tv movie--90 minutes for each installment. I hate watching movies like that though. The people are always such idiots. Why do they take their time? Why do they never call the police?

Monday, July 28, 2008

First Impression

To Harrison after a conversation about Jimi Hendrix. We were noting that we are reaching the "age" when we'll either become somebody notable or remain below the radar. Maybe it's normal to want to achieve some kind of notoriety, but I've always felt like I'd be known for something. All my teachers in school since elementary would say, "I'll see you when you're famous!". Coworkers would say, "Please remember me when you open a gallery or something. I want to be there to see it." My mom thinks I'll do something analytical. Everyone assumes I'm an artist. Identity issues again. I'm just myself.

Today was a pretty good day. Babysitting was awesome as usual. Man, I don't want to leave my kids when I have them. I want to play with them all day long. They will be such eggheads. Always reading. Imagining. I hope at least.

Weeds tonight. So happy that Showtime is airing season two of Dexter on Sunday nights. I need to catch up before I miss the third season since I'll be in Mexico.


this is probably one of my favorite drawings I did in the "Religion and Sexuality" collection which was the notebook Harrison gave me after he dropped said class. I'll slowly be uploading most of the other drawings which I've decided are just sketches to paper layering pieces I plan on doing at some point in the near future.

Sunday, July 27, 2008


Friday was Matmos at the Warhol. Jon and I drove in the worst Pirates game traffic which meant, of course, that there was no street parking on the north side. BTW, if you go to the Warhol lot and they ask you, "Ball Game?" and you say "Nope, trying to go to the Warhol", you only pay $6 instead of the $12 event parking price.

Another wonderful highlight of the drive into the city was getting rear ended by a guy with "Rebel Pride" on his SUV. There was no damage.

Jon and I walked around the galleries before the show. Piet Mondrian's pieces from what I will call his "transitional" phase are definitely my favorite. His earlier work is completely reminiscent of Van Gogh with his use of color and natural- light filled subjects. He started to move towards abstraction, influenced by cubism. It is this inbetween step before he settles on his more recognizable flat primary colored panels that I truly enjoy. He finds a way to use simpler lines and shapes to convey natural forms and utilizes not only his paint in thick (most likely applied with palette knife) swatches but also the canvas for color and texture. In his earlier paintings, you could almost see the evolution of form and value in the layers of oil paint. I appreciate modern, abstract, minimalist art, but it does not hold my attention for very long. I like to get up close to artwork and try and understand the choices artists make, the drama they create in contrast, texture, color and form. It is a definite choice to say, "I want a lack of texture. I want a lack of color. I want to limit the form to it's most basic" but I can't help if I don't prefer it. Below are three examples of Mondrian's artistic transformation.

Don't ask my opinion on Andy Warhol. I don't like his work. I think he is a hack who had a knack of making people buy into his bullshit. His mother did all of the whimsical calligraphy on his illustrations (which come close to agreeable to me). He had aids do his screenprinting. Andy Warhol was a lot of hype. I envy him for his ability to become so successful. I think of him as more of a cultural figure and less of an artist.

The other artist showing at the Warhol was Glenn Kaino. I hate when galleries have highbrow explanations of artist's work. It reminds me of high school trying to appease my art teacher Mrs. Narey with lofty meanings to my artwork. Art should have meaning. Art should be the artist's commentary on their world- however explicit or implicit, basic or extreme. I don't think there should be placards in galleries telling people what the artist may or may not be saying. Isn't a major part of art the subjective audience and the meaning they derive through their personal experience? Have placards that give enough info to place the seed of what the artist's original goals were, but don't shove it down our throats in ways that make us beg the question, was said meaning ascribed after the fact by some art critic? Nevertheless, I enjoyed Kaino's work. Many were absurdist (sometimes the only way to make people realize how absurd life truly is) and others were slightly more direct- such as his machine that effectively stopped the sands of time, sands from silicon, texas, and israel. Jon and I especially enjoyed his Rube Goldberg machine featuring a tiny paper crane, giant lower jaws, and a jackalope.

here's Glenn Kaino's website-

So, there was some drama that Friday night. Jes decided not to go to Matmos. I don't really know what was going on. Jon said she left a note saying "have fun with Maggie" which makes me worried that she's upset Jon and I have been hanging out together a lot. Honestly, we are together so much because we don't really have that many other friends in Canonsburg and we don't have her to hang out with. I hope that she isn't upset for that reason. I know Jes. I know how she reacts to things and I feel like I can say that I understand her pretty well. I'm not mad at her in anyway, I just hope that things blow over soon enough.

Because Jes didn't want to go, her ticket was up for sale. Sanchez (aka Justin) said that he'd buy it and come in. Everyone was under the impression that it was sold out. Well, we called Justin about fifteen minutes before the show and he said he wasn't coming. Well, we found out soon enough that the show WAS NOT sold out and all we could do was give the ticket back to the Warhol sans refund. Jon said he'd pay Jes back.

Leprechaun Catering, the band that opened for Matmos was meh. An improv noise group, they were definitely Dada in their song titles and performance but lacked luster. I'm not sure if the drummer could actually keep a beat. The one thing I had to give to them was that they had some awesome instruments. One guy was playing a rubber band. That is just awesome. I told Jon that we should go on tour after seeing them.

Matmos was sublime. Their videos were impeccably matched to the music and you could just tell that they were in their element having fun. They played a song from a long forgotten lp called "The West" using looped acoustic guitar. Even though synths were "their thing" as they joked, I love the old stuff. I love the new stuff. I don't know what more to say other than, if you like Matmos, seeing them live is like adding the missing link.

After the show we went up to the Ruxton house to chill for a little while. Steph, Andy, Emily and I were talking about getting this magazine idea underway. I'm really excited to know they are all about it as well. Well, talk is just talk and I want to walk the walk, and I think they do too... we just have to step off. Talking with them about creating a creative community makes me wonder about my future or more precisely, where I'll be in the future. They make me want to be in Pittsburgh, but I don't know if I will be. I have to get an internship next summer and Pittsburgh isn't exactly the publishing hotspot. Then I wonder if my college career is actually worth something when all I think about career wise does not really involve Latin America. I always make concessions to include it. Who the fuck knows what I am doing with my life. I just know that Things have to fall into place eventually and I'm pretty confident in myself that I won't settle for something I'm not 100% about. I don't know. I think if you follow your passions and listen to your guts/heart, good things happen. I've been pretty lucky so far.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Wants and Needs

I kept singing in my head while driving the other day-
"When you've got all you want
all you want is more
so I'll stick with what I need
and learn to want what I've got"

I know it's not very poetic or flowing, but it's got a good message.

I have decided that from now on, I only want to consume things that will sustain and benefit my development as a human being. By consume, I am not referring to food alone- I'm talking about everything that I consume- books, music, clothing- all those *consumer* products that we just have to have.

Books are especially relevant. This summer I've been on a quest to read books for personal growth and not necessarily enjoyment. Thoreau's Walden and Civil Disobedience, The Plague by Camus (one of my favorite all time books), lectures on the Buddha, and now a great collection of existential writing edited by Walter Kaufman. I'm just about finished with the first selection- Notes from Underground by Dostoevsky. I think of people who can shovel in the romance novels and law/gov't thrillers. That is like the junk food of literature. Why should I give my brain a cavity?

Perhaps, as Dostoevsky says in Notes... the person of acute consciousness is the more burdened soul- much like how an adult is more burdened than a child because of awareness. I agree, but I'd rather be aware of my surroundings and be able to contextualize and understand events than be ignorant to the world and all it's facets. [Ah... living in a prismatic world <- my coleus aided enlightenment] Awareness is also why I've been trying to watch/read more of the news. I've read Thoreau's comments on the news, but as our society has changed significantly since Thoreau lived in the woods alone, I find that to be ignorant of world affairs is to be blinded from the bigger picture. I am one of those crazies who imagines themselves not so much a citizen of their country (hell, I'm a US citizen and subject to laws that I have very little say in by default) but of the entire globe. Also, our economy has become hinged on the economies of other countries as free trade has spread across the planet, and times are tough. Money has always been too important an issue for this 20 yr old for me not to pay attention to what is happening.

I hate elections. Make everything go to a referendum. The system is flawed and a flashy new president isn't going to make things turn on their heads. I plan on voting for Obama, but that is not to say that I believe in every word he says or every pledge he makes. McCain... I've suffered through a Republican president long enough. I've travelled and felt the international disdain for his policies (as well as NAFTA thanks to Clinton). I've been assaulted at a protest for exercising my rights, watched by the police. When will citizens feel like they are protected by the police and not under scrutiny? I'm starting to rant out of control... too much to cover without a premeditated outline.

tomorrow is matmos. super excited. turned down japanther tonight. too tired. need to work tomorrow.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Chk Chk Chk

Went and saw !!! tonight. I told the Tustins, (the two year old who broke my glasses, babysitting job), that I thought I was coming down with the stomach flu which Ada Goldsmith had on Monday. Jon and I were remarking that we had been planning on going, then yesterday decided we weren't and right before returned to our previous sentiments. I couldn't not see !!! and Icy Demons. I would have hated myself.

Icy Demons was really good, but I would have preferred them without the chick in the overalls. You always wonder in bands were there is a bunch of guys and one chick what the drama is if any. Who's hitting who and who's pissed? Nevertheless, each song had it's own distinct sound and feel- I was impressed with their drummer the most perhaps. Their one instrumental in which the chick in the overalls sat out was probably my favorite. The main singer dude had on some gnarly brown polyester pants with bizarre patches sewn on. I figure they were mostly for style since polyester really doesn't wear into holes like that. The brightly colored felt patches were a treat though, fitting of someone in a band called "icy demons".

!!! was over the top and relentlessly fuckadelic and gritty. How can a person not dance to this music? While I prefer the self titled album best, their new tracks certainly had Jon and me dancing. Jon was sexy dancing like a crazy mother fucker. He said he was un-"don't dance like Hemmis" dancing. A long story starting at a Q and not U show. I had friends who had just seen !!! at Camp Bisco. I'm glad I saw them at the Rex, here in Pittsburgh with my friends.

Still dehydrated.

I'm so stoked to see Matmos on Friday!!!!! Supreme Balloon is out of this world.

I've been day dreaming my EP.

Monday, July 21, 2008

The Graduate (Next Year)

I feel like Mrs. Robinson.


Confused Cougar

Friday, July 18, 2008

Frustrated Creative

^ This is from last summer when there was a Chihuly exhibit at the Phipps Conservatory. I thought I had lost these photos because iPhoto is a bitch. I've just recently deleted my iPhoto library after moving all my images to a 500GB LaCie. I hope to start using Aperture for uploading and basic organizing/editing and my sweet new CS3 for the fancy shit. If I'm going to be a photojournalist, I better get my act together now. Mark Costa, amazing man that he is, gave me this beautiful SLR Olympus from the 80s that was unused. There is even a macro lens on it that reproduces 1:1. I have to learn this. I want to know my shit and feel like I am not just another lame ass artsy girl with a camera, but a respected photographer with skills and a distinct point of view. I always feel like I'm creative and talented yet not. Not enough to actually make an impact at least. I just feel like I fall short. Maybe that's why photography appeals to me because I have an eye for things, I'm just terrible at expressing myself, so I just point and shoot then I can manipulate if necessary.

There are so many projects that I have in my head that I never seem to be working on. Goddammit!!! My EP is going nowhere fast unless you count my insistent ramblings about how I should get working and asking friends for bits.

I had a dream about where I could take my textual drawings. Paper layering. Oh yeah. I just gotta do it.

In another dream, I was two years out of Vassar, living in NYC & had a gallery showing of photos that I took working for the NY Times. In my dream, I called it my day job because I also did fashion and music photog for fun. That would be sweet.

I just finished Civil Disobedience by Thoreau. Now I've started a collection of writings by "existential" authors.

God, I need to brush up on Spanish...

Monday, July 7, 2008

As If I Needed Told

^mushrooms are good.