Friday, July 18, 2008

Frustrated Creative

^ This is from last summer when there was a Chihuly exhibit at the Phipps Conservatory. I thought I had lost these photos because iPhoto is a bitch. I've just recently deleted my iPhoto library after moving all my images to a 500GB LaCie. I hope to start using Aperture for uploading and basic organizing/editing and my sweet new CS3 for the fancy shit. If I'm going to be a photojournalist, I better get my act together now. Mark Costa, amazing man that he is, gave me this beautiful SLR Olympus from the 80s that was unused. There is even a macro lens on it that reproduces 1:1. I have to learn this. I want to know my shit and feel like I am not just another lame ass artsy girl with a camera, but a respected photographer with skills and a distinct point of view. I always feel like I'm creative and talented yet not. Not enough to actually make an impact at least. I just feel like I fall short. Maybe that's why photography appeals to me because I have an eye for things, I'm just terrible at expressing myself, so I just point and shoot then I can manipulate if necessary.

There are so many projects that I have in my head that I never seem to be working on. Goddammit!!! My EP is going nowhere fast unless you count my insistent ramblings about how I should get working and asking friends for bits.

I had a dream about where I could take my textual drawings. Paper layering. Oh yeah. I just gotta do it.

In another dream, I was two years out of Vassar, living in NYC & had a gallery showing of photos that I took working for the NY Times. In my dream, I called it my day job because I also did fashion and music photog for fun. That would be sweet.

I just finished Civil Disobedience by Thoreau. Now I've started a collection of writings by "existential" authors.

God, I need to brush up on Spanish...

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