Thursday, January 31, 2008

White Cake

I guess hyping up my birthday in the manner I did turned out to be just what I needed to make it enjoyable. I hung with the widest variety of all my favorite people, so, needless to say, Vassar birthday 2008 was a success. The celebrations started at 1230 am on friday. Wowsers. I owe a lot to Biff for being my mad scientist. He has such the crazy hookup. When my actual party started Friday night, I was so happy and surprised to see the array of people that at least stopped by to give their birthday wishes. Even Jane the master mooch showed up. Of course. I think the best part of my birthday was just having everyone around me. Knowing that these people showed up was really gift enough (I know the allure of free drink was also a motivation), but I honestly survive on human interaction. When I am alone, I am only thinking of who I saw that day or who I will. I define my happiness by the quality and quantity of my time with friends/family/lovers.

I started having people tag my coffee table... maybe that was a bad idea in retrospect considering the drunken scrawls some people did... also, these people had to be explained the concept of a tag, so I guess that I shouldn't have allowed them to attempt, but I'm a softie.

Liking white cake with vanilla icing is not racist. It's delicious.

My mom sent me one of those pajama grams. LAME. The funny thing is, my mom knows that I really don't wear pajamas and can't see the purpose of more than say, one pair of comfortable pants to sleep in. I'm sending the pink velour back as soon as I get my act together and print out the return form. At least the chocolate that came with the pjs was delicious.

there is a boy that moved into the stairwell this semester after traveling around China that has made me hurry up and move on from the whole Oleg thing. Oleg is still a great guy, but I think it is best that we are just friends. Maybe this new guy won't pan out either, who knows? But I am trying to be smarter about who I like and how I go about it. Talking to Heather has made me realize that I might have a warped idea of how a relationship develops. I mean, I'm sure that I do. I'm just so anxious, I guess. He is super nice so I keep warning myself that what I am taking as flirtations or interest in me is just his honest interest in me as a person and not necessarily as a romantic possibility. He could just be a nice guy that to eager girls comes off as romantically inclined. The ratio of dudes to girls is atrocious here so any attention from a straight male is like christmas. He and I will just have to hang out more and see what happens.

I just hope something happens soon though.

I definitely wasn't expecting to meet someone this semester. Hoping, maybe, but to actually meet someone that right away catches my attention and keeps interesting me, well, I didn't think that would happen for a long time coming.

My birthday horoscope:

If you wait for that one big idea to come along and make your fortune you could wait forever. Your birthday chart shows that you already have what you need to be a success in life- all you have to do is recognize what you are good at and focus on it to the exclusion of everything else.

My problem is that I'm a jack of all trades. I'm kinda good at a lot of things. I'm good at loving people, but you can't build a life on that. I guess I should stop looking at things within the framework of a potential career, but I look at my mother and can't help to search for something satisfying but with job security and a comfortable salary. Then, I think of how all I know is that I want a family. Maybe my great success will be raising amazing people that will be the real ones to make their mark. This is a very depressing thing to think about at 20 years of age. I was having a variant of this conversation last night- I am part of the generation that will be the next wave of movers and shakers. Will I be one of them? Only the few rise.

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