BLAH (bleck)

my blog has deteriorated into meaningless bullshit. that poem was sooo crappy about the pen. that pen does have a lot of sentimental value but not to warrant such a dribble of "so many ways". My brain has been haywire and I'm not sure if there is a cure or if it's some passing phase called "burned the fuck out". I guess that I just need some mental exercise. You know, get limber so I can go the distance in the vocabulary olympics next semester. I'll be in a class with so many people that I know that I need to stay on my game, you know make a good impression on my friends. friends. heh.

I can't wait to go to xalapa. shellaca.

the v-friends are retarded. it's come to my attention that the proper course of action is a slow and effective phasing out of group activity. it's just sad and disappointing. individual attention is ok. the other option is sort of queer because I feel kinda like that way older person that still hangs out with the kiddies. but, i guess that I'm just being a little silly. Damn it feels good to be back though. "A breath of fresh fucking air" is all I have to say. My mom and I are better than ever, and the friends are like a comfortable sweater- warm, fuzzy, not to tight but not too loosey goosey, dependable, makes you feel good just to wear, just your taste. oh the simile.

new glasses make the world go round. mr. mcgoo.

Going to the dentist equaled three things today- three cavities (that's one item in the list, mind you), more praise for xalapa, and a possible summer job. what is that job, you ask? babysitting my dentist's three young children. oh, the joy. They've known me forever, I'd practice spanish with them, I love kids, and I'm fun! woo! cutting it down to the bottom line, the mother and father are both successful dentists and that means getting well paid. I'm sure I'll cry and moan about it when/if I actually am doing it, but I love kids a whole lot and that's a nice job for the summer. no effin' taxes either.

my bowl broke. my watch broke. jes says it comes in threes and that is frightening.

now starts the projects- anthro theory book, purse, skirt, artwork, ep? what next?

Highschool was fun.

hehehe.

Adjudication

this week has been pretty chilled out, I suppose. I got my papers written and turned in with time to spare on wednesday, and I've been rearranging the room slowly since. the new arrangement, I think, will really enable exponentially greater chilling. heh. it already has.

I jammed with dan and andres yesterday. that was nice. I love to jam. mmm. I have been missing a lot of things from home and one of them is the jamming aspect. that and the art, but I did just pull out the watercolors yesterday. I guess the moral of the story is, do the things you like and don't wait for other people to do them with you.

it snowed almost a foot yesterday. it was magical.

I had this huge blowout today. I felt bad that the only person who really got the whole shpeel was Maggie and Mike only heard me allude to the unhappiness... but well... whatever. I leave on tuesday.

next semester will be better, I think. even better.

oh, and I got really drunk at my professor's house off nice white wine. amen.

This is Ground Control to Major Tom

done for a week with final shit. and all I can think of is how triumphant the middle section of Space Oddity by David Bowie is. right after he makes it through the atmosphere.

This is ground control to major Tom
You've really made the grade
And the papers want to know whose shirts you wear
Now its time to leave the capsule if you dare

This is major Tom to ground control
I'm stepping through the door
And I'm floating in a most peculiar way
And the stars look very different today

tomorrow, I have to get some stuff done and then it's time for a peru reunion. maybe I'll convince eliot to hang out with me for a change. harumpf. thursday, oh thursday! I'm going to rearrange my room. it's almost like a catharsis for the craziness i've been feeling this semester. onto better things. so it goes.

Final Time

classes ended officially today. I cannot believe that Palmer put on such a show to try and squeeze some pitiful good evaluations from us. it was CARAZY. we had to do a call and response randomly with our eyes closed- "We are all together sitting in this room". Excuse me? Long story short, she got the worst review I've ever given. I am so glad to be free from that class. All that's left is the stupid paper that I have to write. FUCK. I don't have a lick of research collected or processed. I'm thinking all of Sunday will be research and organization of the paper then monday and tuesday will be time to write and edit before it's due on Wednesday. In the meantime, I have to write my History final. So far so good. I need to try and get one of the essays (the final is a two parter) mostly done tonight so that tomorrow all I have to do is write like a page and a half and then write the other one. Welcome to the work zone. I'll be here until Wednesday at 445 most likely.

I've been working obsessively on a code. I'm really trying to make it sophisticated and evolved. Karin better love it.

The snow has already started. I can't believe it. We didn't get snow until Valentine's last year. WTF.

Catalyst is out, and I think people have really liked it. I'm sure there are some people who think it's lame, but I don't really care about them. hahah. Just one less stressor in my life.

I can't wait until I'm done with these papers so I can rearrange my room. I've got a pretty good set up in mind and I'm just itching to start. I think it'll really help to create a more cohesive hang out area/ better section off the room. The flow is just lacking right now.

Can't wait to get home!

Sure

I was on the phone with my mom last night, and she said that she had had a vision earlier that day. She saw that I was going to meet someone before the end of the year. He would have soft curly, brown hair. My mother also said that she is just hopeful as a mother that her daughter will meet someone special. I can understand that. I, as a daughter, hope that my mother will meet someone nice soon. Recent attempts haven't been so hot for either of us. What a pair! Mother and daughter on the prowl yet so inept.

My brain is just getting frazzled with the end of the semester. I have no idea what it'll be like next semester. This semester was kind of a joke. Harumph. I just keep diverting my attention to next year when I'll be studying in Xalapa. Better times in the future, I say.

Things just aren't working out.

A Calm Before the Storm

I woke up and didn't realize it had snowed. It was one of those startled realizations when I was checking things online and kept seeing references to snow and whatnot. Needless to say, winter has arrived but I still have this silent hope that there will be another crazy warm period like there was last year over winter break, but then again, we didn't see snow until Valentine's day.

The weekend was a slow one. You can already see the cold keeping people indoors not willing to venture for the party crawl/search. I've never been that into it but it's even less appealing when you have to walk for fifteen minutes in the cold- especially if you aren't sure if something is going on or not. I miss the warmer weather. I'm not talking summertime heat, just like 50° at night- 70° during the day. Perfect!

I can't wait for the semester to end, but I have so many bullshit trifles to take care of before then. I can't wait until I'm done being a treasurer and have to apply for JYA. Almost done, though. Almost done.

My goals for when I get home are as such:
find a job
work at said job
read anthro theory book
learn the harmonica
practice my bass and sax
make some clothes
make a book
write more poetry
record some music
get my tattoo!!

stuff I have to do before I get home:
JYA proposal
ideal budget form
10 page psych paper
history final
linguistics final
faulkner response

two weeks left.